"... has been given a name above every name, before which every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth ..."
This appointment gives me a glimmer of hope. Jesus is the only one who can break the chains of my family and protect my daughter myself.
My grandmother had breaks in the affection for my grandmother for having been abandoned by her husband with 7 children. My grandmother was breaks the affection for my mother for being unmarried daughter. My mom has breaks in the affection for me, perhaps after his daughter at birth and by the wounds of his own relationship with his mother.
How I can do to break the bonds of this infamous tradition of ill affection. According intergenerational healing (book of the same name P. Robert de Grandis), these failures in love and strong family events are passed through the chromosomes as the soul burdens inherited and cumulative.
My grandmother, my mom and I live in different cities, that makes us want to phone a lot and when we meet occasionally. However, last month my grandmother spent several weeks with my mother treated for a gall bladder operation. Although it is now along, my mom has in place their wounds of child abuse, shouting, humiliation, phrases etched in his soul as "why do not you died in the epidemic was" slowly and with stirring is meals.
As expected, the impact of pent-up anger came to me yesterday with a bang: "I do not know why I ask for help to me, you are already a grown woman, you already know what you can do with your life, fortunately knows how to work, I can not count on your brother and you and I will leave dumped when old and sick, I do not know what to do with his life. "
I've run with more luck, has allowed me to be Catholic estarme many hours kneeling in a chapel putting my feelings, forgiving slowly, trying to keep a clean heart, without building up resentment, trying to understand without judging.
However, 36 and a half weeks of pregnancy is not a propitious time to hear these words of my mother, the grandmother of Isabella, who is the person from whom I expected much support, especially moral, lacking the biological father.
Thankfully gone are the calling card minutes and we were talking. I stay after and mourn a little bit cold, I understand the reaction of my mom, but I have fear for my own daughter.
This has to stop me. This wave of rage and madness has to be broken in me, without my girl. Only God has the power to heal what's in my blood: deception and revenge accumulated systematic daughters. The mixture of love and abandonment that causes resentment and humiliation. This jumble unconscious feelings that makes my mom loves me and has done so much for me, carry me forward, but also in me download the hatred towards his own mother. absurd and real ... I carry it in me.
Isabella, my innocent child, how I protect myself, how do I stop feeling than the love and the mother instinct in me arise as you grow. I consecrate myself to your care and care of your steps without selfishness and without becoming a participant in old family stories.
God the Father in Jesus' name I beg you, stop me this painful history, that my daughter is clean and affection for their children that the horizon is open. That she did not receive these charges, that these bonds are destroyed me. Sana, clean, free, Lord. I trust you. Let me feel you trust me that this child that I have entrusted you to be happy, you will have a home, you will not be a single parent and can feel safe in your love and your mom.
Amala much, Lord, that my love in it is a reflection of your love.
If Jesus is the light that I shine. If Jesus is the light that shines my daughter and I is not your shadow, but his candle.